BEYOND SNAP JUDGEMENT

In our relationships, whether romantic, familial, or professional, we often find ourselves standing at the crossroads between “judgement” and understanding. How they intersect is key.

“Judgement” is quick, reactive, and often rooted in fear or assumptions. Understanding, on the other hand, asks us to slow down, to listen, and to lean into discomfort. It is not passive. I see it more as a form of active empathy.

When we chose understanding over “judgement,” we are not excusing someone’s behavior or abandoning their shaky boundaries. We are choosing to see the full picture; to ask “What is behind this?” instead of “What is wrong with them?”

Oddly, the choices we make become critical when we are confronted with perspectives or behaviors that challenge our own belief structure. It is easy to label someone as “difficult” or “wrong.” Yet, what if we paused for a moment and asked what shaped their view? What if we considered the context, their story, or their pain?

For me, understanding does not mean total agreement. It is more akin to curiosity. A person resists the urge to reduce someone to a single moment or opinion. Ultimately, understanding welcomes the complexity that makes us human.

An argument can be made that in a world of increasing polarization, choosing understanding is not merely a kind gesture. It is revolutionary. One of the deepest forms of human passion needs to be our enthusiasm to understand what we yet know. I fear that if we do not, something colder is waiting to take its place.