ANGER

I want to share something in this blog that has been sitting heavy on my heart lately – the weight of “anger.” Lately, there are times when I lash out, raise my voice, or just completely shut down. I have come to believe, often, that my “anger” is fear wearing armor.

Psychologist Harriet Larner writes a lot about this in her book, “The Dance of Anger.” She explains that “anger” can be a signal that something deeper is stirring inside; rejection, abandonment, or losing control. Sigmund Freud saw something similar, when he wrote that by framing “anger,” it becomes a defense against vulnerability. By evaluating myself, I see how true this becomes for me. I get “angry” when I feel desperate, exposed, or when something precious feels threatened.

My struggle with “anger” is that I am pulled inward, while anger pushes me outward. When I feel the fire of “anger” rising, I begin to wonder: What am I protecting? What am I afraid of losing? It is not weakness in asking these questions – it feels more resolute. If I dig hard enough, beneath my “anger,” there is sure to be something tender and more loving. Only when I can identify that source, can my healing begin.