The Big Mistake

There are moments in our lives that we both fear to relive and/or long to repeat. Unfortunately, time prevents a second chance to amend the past, as do most people. For those reasons, my understanding of others has always focused on how I view things as they really are rather than considering them as I would like them to exist.

However, consider the following: To critique the intimate historical intentions of others, all of us must first have the courage to apply those standards to ourselves.

Here is how that might occur; some people believe that we are unfinished souls searching for the dividing line between what we should become versus what we could become. We encounter what we really value out of life by quietly exploring our most guarded relationships. All the while, hoping to unearth our life purpose and anyone who takes an interest in who we are becoming.

Captured within those thoughts, many of us are looking for that special person. The search is for the one who can solve life’s intimate riddles. That individual will become an integral part in emotionally negotiating life’s most difficult paths in the quest. Often, people imagine how these special individuals would resolve their past ill-advised choices. Others dream of the manner in which every aspect of their existence will somehow be protected. Collectively, their paths allow them to envision the hope of intimate adoring relationships.

With all of this as a backdrop, imagine that we live our lives thinking that we are responsive to everyone we love and summarily assuring they understand us equally well. The result is “the big
mistake.” Knowing a person on that profound level is challenging and exists only if the most fundamental questions of the heart have been answered. Understanding someone requires that we remove all our intimate emotional camouflage. In doing so, we view the entirety of love differently. Love would become less about senseless moments of intermittent physical intimacy and more about interpersonal generosity, mercy, caring, and openness.

Logically, most of us appreciate that relationships do not remain in “the moment.” We understand how individual character traits change over time. We accept that there are emotional parameters between love and the dynamics of a relationship. For others, remodeling a loving relationship through understanding creates unique problems. This altered picture of the relationship impacts everything with newly formed questions and changes how we explore our future feelings about intimacy. Sadly, for those with a hardened definition of what love should be, there is the risk of not accepting how their past loves were unintentionally ruined. Unfortunately, they often find themselves trapped in repetitive cycles of interpersonal suffering.

This blog involves embracing the difference between love and how understanding has the
capacity to place a flame in everyone’s heart. It forms the light that guides and protects the joyful memories we cherish and long to recapture. It explains the significance behind why we are always seeking how to share ourselves with that one special person. For anyone who concentrates on understanding as a prerequisite for lasting intimate relationships, there is an unclouded path to emotional self-discovery. One fortified with the brilliant gift of fully opening one’s heart toward another without making “the big mistake.”