Are we more aware of what we have done

than who we have become?


The spring and summer of 2020 has been uniquely challenging due to the corona virus. Southeastern Pennsylvania has not been immune.

Interestingly, during this time, an increasing number of my readers have used the blog to air out their mounting grievances regarding self-imposed isolation and as well as some of the positive changes in their lifestyle.

One topic that readers discussed at length was their internal desire to review how the words and meaning behind both individual and familial love has started to change.

Over time, some tried to scrutinize every possible explanation as to why such a change was occurring.  If fact, some even went so far as to suggest reviewing how the concept of romantic and familial love developed within our existing culture and life experience. Oddly, one reader suggested that everyone should Google the abstract mathematical formula for achieving love – ironically, something discussed in “Soul Sins and Regrettable Lies.”

Despite the numerous opinions, one agreeable position of all the debates centered on two facts – falling in love or interpreting and receiving love within a family required a leap of faith and those feelings established a universal mystery for everyone.

From my perspective, love is the most important mystery of my human existence. As an example; while studying at a Taiwanese monastery in Norther Virginia, I was taught that love was the “dance of life” – that learning to meet the mystery of love with the full authenticity of my being meant showing up to love with the absolute clarity of my desired intention. I remember my monk friends using the term “pure approval” – to completely understand others and never judging who they are.

Remaining curious about this topic I took all of my readers’ questions to Laz – hoping he might confirm or modify our thoughts on this topic. To my surprise, this is what I found:

At first Laz wanted to remind me that in our historical discussions he had tried to teach that soul love, when transferred to a human life, was intended to be unconditional. Unfortunately, we have compartmentalized our definitions of love according to any number of human variables and in the process lost all reference to its original intent.

He carefully emphasized the connection of energy that is naturally formed within the bond of all loving relationships. And when speaking about relationship energy he implied that it was not unusual to fall back to the  actions or accomplishments that are achieved within loving relationships as a way of measuring or emphasizing its importance. As an example:  how a husband is such a good father to the children.

Laz wanted me to understand that when the emphasis of relationship accomplishments is withdrawn, it is the unintended or intended control that remains. In essence, it was the actions and accomplishments within the relationship that was the driving force behind the giving or receiving of love.

In the end, Laz was emphatic that such a transference away from love and toward control grossly contaminates all relationships and negatively modifies one’s life and upsets the internal mechanisms of the soul.

Mysteriously, he made this comparison about the discussion – once the questionable energy from a failing love relationships seeps into an area of control, the negative foundation of everyone’s self-esteem literally places a scar the character of the soul.

Regarding my readers multiple comments, Laz had one general comment that seemed to center on all human soul development. That comment was this: The love that is inherent with the existence of a soul need only one common connection. That is with our soul’s evolution. Without any additional explanation, his idea of an expression of intimacy among souls is expressed with the championing of another’s soul advancement.

Laz remained unambiguous regarding this comment: Within human existence, unconditional soul love is not always defined as an emotion expressed with an “intimate soul mate.” Often the advancement of a soul’s existence is better provided by a loving soul acting as a prolific human life antagonist – an energy that gives the needed momentum to move beyond the hurdles and life challenges that seem insurmountable.

His comments indicated that when looking beyond what was said, viewed or heard within our loving relationships we have a responsibility to focus on who helps in advancing our self-esteem.  His final comment: “Look outside the obvious – that is the human awareness that is necessary to separate the simple off-putting feelings of love from the compassion that is intended to move all of us forward.”

As always Laz never provides a “one size fits all” answer to complex issues. What appears to be a “take-away” for me, however, is this – in all my existing and future loving relationships, perhaps I would benefit from being more aware of who I am becoming than what I have been trying to accomplish.




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